National Associate Appreciation Day
The American Bar Association today announced that February 26th has been designated National Associate Appreciation Day. The action was taken to boost associate morale at The Firm.
To commemorate Associates' Day, law firm associates will assume the role of partners and partners will fulfill associate duties. "Partnership remains a pipe dream for the vast majority of associates but The Firm should at least give them a taste of what they will be missing," said ABA spokesman Ronald Nolan.
To make the most of the occasion, the ABA has issued the following guidelines for associates to follow while playing the partner's role and for interacting with partners serving as associates:
- Wait until 4:30 on Friday afternoon to assign projects to partners and demand to have them completed by Monday morning. After the partner works all weekend on the assignment, take two or three weeks before reviewing it. Ignore all substance aspects of the partner's work but chastise the partner for all grammatical or typographical errors.
- When assigning the project, give the partner complex and convoluted instructions. If the partner asks a question or indicates any lack of understanding, roll your eyes, sigh and as "Where did you go to law school?".
- While the partner is working on the assignment, have your secretary call every half hour to ask if it's done yet.
- Calculate how many hours it should take to complete the project. Tell the partner not to spend more than one-third of that amount of time on the assignment.
- When the partner comes to your office to talk about the project, make a few personal phone calls, do some reading and send an email to your travel agent. Every five or ten minutes, tell the partner, "This will just take a second. Stay where you are."
- After the assignment is completed, write down the partner's billable time and apply it to your timesheet.
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